I Was Bullied
For your information, sexual bullying is a type of bullying involving gestures, comments, or actions that are intended to intimidate or offend another person. On the other hand, sexual harassment is a type of harassment involving unwelcome or inappropriate sexual requests that include verbal or physical harassment. Sexual harassment and sexual bullying are basically the same thing. They are both involving unwanted sexual comments, attention, or physical contact.
Here’s the story..
I went to a vocational high school dominated by boys. From hundreds of boys, girls in my academic year are less than twenty. So yes, basically, in my school, if you’re not ‘manly’ enough or if you’re considered weak by a group of people, the possibility for you to get bullied is high.
There was this one boy in my school and we are in the same year. He was always around with a group of boys. I used to get teased by him for whatever reason he had in his head. He was sexually harassing me every time he sees me! Not to mention that his friends were also making fun of me. They were laughing looking at him harassing me. It was not just a one-time event, I used to be treated like that during my years in high school.
Back then, I didn’t know that it was sexual bullying. I just knew that they were doing bad things to me, they were mocking me for no reason, they were laughing at me, and I didn’t feel comfortable with that.
It was really hard for me to walk around the school thinking that I could bump into him or his friends, especially when I walked alone. Although when I was with my friends, he still had the guts to harass me. He probably thought that he was powerful, and his friends just thought it was just a joke. But for the record, we’re not even in the same class and we’re not friends! Even if it’s a joke, it’s not funny! It’s embarrassing and it hurts me.
I’m not gonna tell you what he did to me specifically. But some of my friends knew what he always did to me. I had two very close friends back in high school, and they knew what I was going through. Back then, my friends and I thought that if I don’t fight his harassment, he would be bored and he would go away. But I was wrong. He kept doing what he did to me. He and his friends just got worse.
I was a teenager back then. I was only a 16-year-old boy who didn’t know how to handle bullying or harassment. I was vulnerable. I didn’t know how to respond to an individual or a group of people that is harsh and evil. Most of the time I couldn’t fight back when someone is making me upset or uncomfortable. Some people around me or my classmates are not any better. They were just standing there and laughing too. They were all just thinking it was a joke. I felt like I was being treated like trash, clown, like joke material.
Do you know what sucks? Some people thought that I love being treated like that. They also told me that boys should be like “this” and shouldn’t be like “that”. Boys are supposed to be strong, yadda yadda. Toxic masculinity in my school is real! I would say these kind of people are even worse than the bullies.
People who harass or bully are often good at making victims blame themselves and making the victims think “what’s wrong with me?”. But no one has the right to sexually harass or bully anyone else! Please also remember that bullying and sexual harassment in school are not just limited to age or gender. Boys can harass girls, but girls can also harass boys. Boys may harass other boys, and girls may harass other girls too. Girls can be powerless, but boys can be powerless too.
By telling this story, I don't have the intention to build a victim mentality. I know that the term “victim” often comes with a negative connotation in our society. But having a victim mentality is not the same as being a victim, cause people with that mentality tend to be helpless instead of accepting that she/he has the power to make changes, to recover, or to help others. I hope by telling this story, people out there who has the same experience know these two things: first, you’re not alone. Second, it’s not your fault.
Bystanders also play an important role in stopping bullying and sexual harassment. Don’t just watch or even worse join the bullying! If you see someone who is being bullied or harassed, do something! If you don't feel you can say something, report the event. You could also talk to the victims, offer support, and don’t tell them that it’s their fault cause it’s not! It’s the bullies that have problems. They often bully or make fun of others just to make themselves feel better.
I still bear the emotional scars years later, but he and his friends never apologized to me. Not even once. They must think that it was nothing. But I believe they’re adults now. I hope they could teach their children not to bully others, and I hope their children would never experience any type of bullying or harassment.
—
Now, I'm older and tougher. I can't change my past, but this also doesn’t change the fact that my time during high school was memorable. I have a lot of friends who are kind and supportive too. I’m blessed. However, bullying and harassment is a serious issue that needs to be tackled. Bullying or harassment in any form is not right. As you reading this, there are kids out there who might be experiencing bullying or harassment and they couldn’t do anything. Therefore, children, young people, and society need to get educated on this issue.
No one deserves to be harassed or bullied despite his/her race, physical appearance, the way they dress, personality differences, disability, sexual orientation, religion, or cultural beliefs. We all have the responsibility to stop this.
Comments
Post a Comment